I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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