Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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