Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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