his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
