Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
