I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
