At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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