we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
