Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
