I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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