The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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