Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If I die, sorry about rent.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
