At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
