did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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