ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
