are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
