No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He shit in the fireplace
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