is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
