Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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