just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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