I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
