I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
