Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
