hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
