You made me cry and you don't even care
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
