Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
