Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
