party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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