Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
