We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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