My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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