Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
