can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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