you guys were way drunker than both of me
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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