Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
