seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
