make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
