to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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