perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
