No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
