I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
