All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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