It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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