Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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