I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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