I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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