if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
