Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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