I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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