I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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